Tuesday, December 25, 2012

"Christmas Mornings"

Today's Christmas Morning... Still in flannel-holiday print pajamas which was given to me a few years back by my sister Mhing. Fresh-brewed "Bustelo" coffee is always my prime source of adrenalin next to walking in the park... Enveloping Josh & Calvin's presence; the catalyst of why motherhood is the core essence of my time... "What a Wonderful Life" will be my tonight's surreal moment, just me and myself, a "throw blanket" and my mind, heart, soul in sync with each other---love it that way! And of course, my personal passion= beautiful words echoing in my heart, be it in a song, a book, your voice that wakes my dormancy or an image, a vision and that very special memory that fortifies hope, faith and love that some of us have let go... >Life can still be beautiful. Be in awe for that "wonder." Everything is going to be alright. It sure belongs to you, me, us, everyone. Let's hold it together, closer this time of year---my thoughts of today's Christmas morning. Merry Christmas And God Bless Us All! May you go out in joy and be led forth with peace; may the mountains and hills burst into song before you. And may all the trees of the field clap their hands. Isaiah 55:12

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

"The Good News"

After a morning jog/walk with "Cocoa" (my chocolate Lab.); I decided to de-clutter my writing space. I know you guys out there can all relate to procrastination as the most convenient excuse as it's always been my one of my closest nemesis.
I've seen old receipts that should have been tossed away and books & magazines that should have been shared-handed to other people. Hoarding non-essentials is always a habit to be broken. Having said that, at the eve of Thanksgiving, my own feast should be "less is more" by Robert Browning---to honor my space for writing.
Yeah, as they said, while in the process on tidying up your space, you have to let go first and foremost deep attachments to old things for new "gems" to enter in your life. Yup, as soon as I contemplated on that thought I came across this yellow-lined paper dated Feb. 07, 2001 that was just entreating me to blog it...I don't know but the words were just too colossal to ignore. What do you think?
Here it is:
"The good news is that pain---whether from loss of love, opportunity, health, or self-esteem---while sometimes soul-crushing is rarely permanent. 
And if pain is a thief, stealing away your security, it does leave your security in exchange: experience."

"Experience has taught me that hearts heal, souls mend, brains readjust, we move on. It has also taught me that feeling better---is a jagged process during which people say the most darn things in an awkward attempt to lighten someone's load.'

 I wish, hope and pray for everyone a healthy, blessed, & joyful Thanksgiving holiday.
In all things and everything, give thanks to God.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

"How to Lead a balanced Life" by Todd Stocker

So how should we keep our balance between our past, present and future? Try this: “Glance at the past. Work in the present. Focus on the future.” Glance at the past. When I was biking, it occurred to me that my problem wasn’t the look into what I passed but rather the length of the look. Glancing is better than looking. Your past is helpful but don’t get stuck. Remember past events with the attitude of a learner but only briefly. Let yesterday’s success and failure be guides for today’s activities. Five percent of your time should be spent here. Work in the present. In other words, be in the moment. Establish your priorities and goals and be diligent on what needs to be done today. Seventy percent of your activity should be engaged here. Focus on the future. Look forward to where you want or need to go. Where your eyes are fixed is where the rest of your “biking” will take you. Twenty-five percent of your focus should be set here. Finally, remember that God says not to worry about yesterday or tomorrow and not to waste the day that He gave you. He also encourages you and me to enjoy the journey with all of its bumps and success!

Monday, October 1, 2012

"October Festival" of Colors

Happy First Day of October:
There's a revelry of crisp autumn air especially outdoors--almost like replenishing your soul. You can tell summer has made its exit. And my heart thrills for deeper connecting ; to the layers of meaning that the beauty of subdued colors of Leaves;  taking my inhibitions and fears simply fall away with them---even for just for a brief season...I'll take that!

What Propels Me To Do This October...
Hope to strip away what my physical eyes always sees which is the outward -momentary, partial gratification of things; instead be mesmerized by the season's tapestry of God's treasures: Nature's exquisite colors. 

May the season brings you, me, and everyone who reads my blog rich dimension of dedication, passion and the commitment to what our hearts desire like a heaven to our souls...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

"Random Snapshots" Today

I make a point now that every time I get into my car, my camera is just within reach for eye-catching snapshots. This one was taken @ 3:13 pm today coming home from work.  I was waiting for the light to turn green ; on a ramp. I have always been fascinated, even when I was a child to anything panoramic; for my mind to condense and for my heart to contend...
My neighborhood ...It seemed to me that this is one of the afternoons that made me feel that I am where God has put me to live until then...Quiet, quaint and "home."Add caption
What could be clearer than a blue sky as mere clouds slowly making their exit ...A beautiful day to remain true to what really moves you to be alive. God is in the details, no doubt.dd caption

Thursday, September 13, 2012

"It Will Rain..."

< ...And it did rain--in the physical and in the spiritual realm. And as the song goes, "there will be no sunlight and clear sky without you in my mind."

Happy Wednesday, Everyone!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

"As I Stand Tall..."

Chances are...something that happens unpredictably without discernible human intention or observable cause. Ever wonder how often an event happen with little knowledge about probability or cannot be foreseen in your life? I believe that God has given us the power of discernment that equates to our faith. That inherent wisdom that we may try to fall upon the shadows of our eyes; those regrets that travel and push us into the wrong pursuits or mull over our choices and prayerfully work them out. Climb out of it that you might recover the joy you have lost.

"God longs to bless your life with wisdom and to bring you to the crest of a hill where you can catch a glimpse that will take your heart a sobering truth that God's fingerprints cover everything--the places of misery and tragedy most of all. That despite the dismal circumstances, the vestiges of truth about His grace over your life gives you rest; God's grace is greater than your Past!
Happy Wednesday!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

The Gift of Closure...

Do we really get total closure especially from someone you've really loved since childhood? A resounding "no" would be the only answer.
How would you put an end to loving someone all your life? May be concentrate on his flaws and his many uneventful excuses that you know were superficial. Or even better: that you've realized you will always be under the covering of God's faithfulness ; and that He is not going to allow you to be that prodigal daughter that He loves unconditionally be lost any longer...
And though forgetting is hard, forgiving yourself is one great wisdom you may begin to adhere. Remember : Closure is not a conversation between the two of you and saying your goodbyes; not e-mailing each other and say," I'll always love you," (though it's true,  it doesn't cut the truth partially);  but real closure for me is  a spiritual and a personal decision.  You owe yourself that choice---to choose not to be in bondage and letting it all go.

Your blessings have just started pouring in...by doing the right thing and closing the gap. And you can "shake the dirt off your feet and move on." Stop chasing a dream that held you back for so long...Be kind to yourself and start building a new real dream. It's never too late to ascend from unmarked territory--to begin with. Have a grateful heart...everyone!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

My Song & Yours...

I heard this song  midday yesterday while watching Today @ TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network) I couldn't help but check Steven Curtis Chapman's music videos on you tube. Then I found the right image to project and share for my blog.

There are songs that  triggers nostalgia as of revisiting the past; also many songs that when you listen to them, they're for momentary entertainment but there are also songs that penetrate the chambers of your soul entreating you to forget your issues and just want to make you move past your guilt and insecurities and make a paradigm shift on your mindset. Just like this one...(Yours) Oh, that would be awesome if only I could make it through without a fight...a fight that would render me to the finish line!

As Jeff Goins says in his book "Wrecked" which I'm still reading, " Entering the pain of others can make us feel good, giving us a deep confidence about our place in the world, while doing work that doesn't feel good at all. In other words,  in our grief, we find purpose. In suffering, we find significance. And still, the pain goes on.
The intersection between these two contradictions is where we find our true selves."

In a way, we're all entangled, weaved into something greater than ourselves. I'm still praying for that relentless courage that would compel me to act beyond necessities and that will cause me to grow and live with my faith without wavering. And in the end I would love my heart to look back one more time and really see my journey without apology and regret and refine me once & for all.
Good Thursday everyone!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Today, My "Cocoa" Turns Seven...

Today looks like a very promising one... A very good morning! 
I promised myself to just spend the whole morning with Cocoa in the park then take her to PetSmart Grooming Store as a part of a birthday package.
This is a better park not only that it is a lot closer to home but also there are a lot more to see for your heart's content.
This is me & Cocoa after 3 laps. Two more rounds to go...
A kind soul has offered to take us a picture. 
A good reminder...that you may walk your dog but clean up after her/his "mess." We got that alright!
I thought this is still worth capturing...even a portion of some dry land is an evidence of scorching heat.
An adorable little girl reaching out to pet Cocoa.  And she came away to the field with that gracious smile.
Time to get out & play ball. Saturday mornings seem to be family outdoor time for many of us!
A place of retreat where children and their folks can enjoy the pleasure of water & the shade.
Recreation Center...Flags hoisted with pride.
@ PetSmart where I buy her special "treats" and "needs."
And sure, we did enjoy the morning. Taking pictures is always a highlight for me! Now I have to take my afternoon nap to have that kind of energy for the concert tonight. Two Christian bands are playing; For Kings & Country & Rat Walker. There's no doubt in my mind that they gonna rock the place for Jesus! And I'll be there with them singing to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords...Here &Out for Now

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Happy First Day of August...

               I have been watching the Olympics 2012 slated in London since its premiere. What inclines me to watch is my deep appreciation for such drive, passion, discipline, and the physicality that athletes have to compete for a dream to come true. My heart is drawn to every compelling story that has made them tenacious and with relentless perseverance to be a part of something big as the Olympics. (My favorite events are volley ball, gymnastics, & swimming relays)
But at the end of the day, what do these athletes ponder upon the most? I hope and pray that in their journey of representing their country, there is a special ember in their hearts to connect with God, the One that can make things happen beyond  every dream. 
I am thankful Today even for the things I couldn't have and just keep believing through faith that God knows what's best for me & you.
Be thankful in all circumstances for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Friday, July 13, 2012

Happy Friday the 13th

Me, my sister-in-law Jolly and manang Cel @ home
My brother Jun and his wife, Jolly

In this day in age, many people still believe that Friday the 13 brings scarcity, nuances, and just a doomsday. 
For me, on the other hand, # 13 holds the most sentimental events in my life. My first born son, Josh was born on this special day...I became a mom, a mother that will always uphold and honor its highest standard---servitude!
The other very special event in my life happened last year; one that will forever etched in my heart. That 13th of May changed everything for me!
Today is another blessed Friday the 13th for the family. My sister-in-law, Jolly, who just arrived here( a month ago) in Texas from the Philippines got her driver's permit. Good for her! We should be on the look out though...when she's on the road.
So, once again, the date and the day don't correspond to anything feeble. It's about celebrating the infamous number...And I did by  cooking spaghetti & meatballs with Italian sausage, served with grated Parmesan  cheese and green salad sprinkled with Olessa olive oil. I think I did good for even putting "cinnabon" cinnamon Pillsbury rolls in the oven with Puerto Rican "pilon" coffee for the taking. The family loved the dish I prepared for them. Can't be Filipino dish all the time! That's what I always say to them...
And though my heart still awaits for something grand to happen, I'll leave that another day. Today, I celebrate you, my family, friends and God's touch of grace...

Sunday, June 3, 2012

One of Summer's Eye Catchers...Flowers

A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever...John Keats

My favorites to pick, gather and put them in a vase in front of my PC---so I can be reminded that "all is well that ends well."
I have a cluster of white tulips in my front yard. They just appear and bloom coincidentally in  late Spring; may be rise to the occasion only two times seasonally and stayed dormant the rest of the year. However, I never fail to gaze @ them with whispers of gratitude.
I love water lilies...I guess, because of the fact that they float daintily in the river banks, so exquisitely that you feel like touching them with so much endearment... The thing is, for me personally, water lilies need not to be domesticated but be left alone in their habitat, to be watched and adorned as they set forth!
Yellow daffodils...I put them on my top choice of flowers; not roses. That image capturing the most beautiful sight, the girl with "pigtails, "in illuminating red overalls, admiring what's in her hands is a total surrender of being in the moment. 
Looking at this image stirs my heart to be in retrospect--into remembrance! When I was about seven or eight years old up to 6th grade, I and my cousins and close friends and some schoolmates in the barrio (usually on Saturdays) walk up to the hills and valleys where everything you see says" freedom."
While my counterparts were running for fruit- bearing trees, and filling their bags with some other audible "stuff," I stay behind  gathering yellow daffodils and dandelions in clusters  and I didn't really care whether I fill up my bag with less "star apples, mangoes, tisa, guavas, sampalok, and many other rich variety of tropical fruits in the horizon. However, almost always that by the time we got home, my clustered daffodils and dandelions had already been withered. But that wasn't the end of them...When they're dried up, I put them in my books as earmarks. Gathering flowers is one of the best, earliest activities embedded in my memories to date. 
Those were happy childhood days, I may say...that helped me be sensitive, grateful and mindful of the gifts of Nature! Always...

Monday, May 28, 2012

My Lab/Border Collie...Tootsie

Midsummer of 2006 when I adopted her...She was just barely a year old. She was a "quick pick" from a dozen of kennels of large to small breed @ Petsmart Store. All of these"four-legged" dogs were all barking for attention to be picked at that time except Tootsie. I saw her wagging her tail, (still in a cage) not demanding I thought; so, I asked if I could take her for a walk around the store.
That "walk" translated to bringing her home that afternoon with the help of my son, Josh who actually encouraged me to adopt her.  His perspective reverberated wisdom: Josh said:" Mom, just pick Tootsie for his chance to be adopted is very slim."
 I look around  while"prospective owners" were all keenly interested to non-black dogs. Nobody even has gazed to Tootsie's corner. They all passed by-not a single step closer to her cage.

And I'm so happy they didn't take a closer look at my beautiful dog because she's mine with a story to tell..                                  

Hi...I'm Tootsie!
I remember walking endlessly under the rain looking scruffy, mischievous,and tired, scavenging for food for weeks and for a 7 month-old dog I should be indoors with a blanket and a Purina food to devour. So I thought and dreamed...
I believe I'm also a part of God's creation. Remember when Noah secured all the animals in pairs in the Ark? So, something to that reference happened. I was picked up by a Samaritan in a station wagon  and drove me to the Second Chance Shelter for dogs in the area. And I never knew how luck and blessings meshed because that's the beginning of all the good things to come. I am now in the best care and love of my "mom." Because of her, others look up to me now like I'm somebody special.

Being aware of Tootsie's lacking trust despite of everyday assurances of affection and providing good shelter is still an ongoing issue. But I know I'm gaining grounds to where one day all of her harsh beatings in the past( before Second Chance Shelter) while waiting for a home, be completely vanished. To this day, she's still very anti-social. She reverses to squirm when patted unannounced; still puts her kernels of dry food  in a corner where it's safe for her to eat them. She easily gets irritated and doesn't know how to play with toys. Instead, she chews on my outside corner plastic "sidings," paper towels and weeds/grass. I tried putting her on classes training for overcoming fears but that also didn't work. But despite of the irrelevance of her ways, she gets me to come home and assure her that she'll never be on the street again. Tootsie is here to stay with me for life...

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Reflections of a Mother's Love...TODAY, May 13

"Mothers have a way of calming troubled waters." 
My mother has honed this skill or better yet a God-given gift. Growing up with my eight siblings, she had to be an anchor, a bridge, a voice, a nurturer, a prayer warrior, witty and funny to have been able to unify opinionated/strong-willed, tenacious children we all are. She may be petite, slim and quiet but her heart & soul are where the real reflections of tangible treasures...She followed her "gut-intuition" in every crucial decision and has rendered her milestones. She stood her ground courageously.
 It's amazing to know that her love for us is continuously pouring out. As if, it's the only thing that matters to her. And mind you, she didn't even have a mother to have taught her to be one. She was bounced from one loving- family relative to another-growing up... Yet, she remained calmed, hopeful and empowered by this experience. 
As they say, " a mother's work is never done" and that is irrefutable. As a mother for twenty five years now technically, and forever, I could only wish and hope that I am as feisty as my mom when it comes to giving tough love to my sons and not waver and compromise when things go wrong.

Add caption
Me...by the window sill having a euphoric moment of motherhood!

Josh, my first-born who thinks a lot like me...God Bless his heart! How I love my son!!!

Me...@ church right after the first service. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just take all those flowers home in my bedroom!

My four other siblings and our beloved mom!
My brother Jun & my mom on mother's day!

My youngest son, Calvin who is after God's heart. And I love him so much...

Life is...still good, after all!

I have a reservoir of beautiful memories of my relationship with my mom in which I try to make
her happy, really in the moment of thankfulness to the Lord especially when we're together.Without her by my side, I wouldn't have had the courage to go on with life's turbulence, so to speak. She's a doorway to every closed opportunity and an anchor for guidance to which I attune it all to God's Holy Spirit living in my mother's heart. I love you mom... You are my loving inspiration! Thank you Lord for blessing the best mother for me and my brothers and sisters.

Join me in celebrating all the mothers (biological or not but possessed a deep love for children) especially today.
My special thanks to those who continuously read my blog.


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

"Always Be A Learner..."

    "Just because I've got detoured, consumed by my Past, devoured by my own Hopelessness, and Deceit don't mean, I have become less valuable in the sight of God." But, rather; it means that God has a greater purpose for my life; that He is refining me through the fire of rejections, disappointments, and from wrong mindset so I can be worthy and ready to fulfill His purpose in my journeys here on earth."
God's grace is pouring and dispensing immeasurably to us lovingly even when we abandoned His Word, His Truth and His mercy and when we certainly don't deserve His Grace. After all the "messes" I've welcomed in my life, our God is the God of second chances. And thank God that once again, He pulled me through...

Happy 1st Day Of May

Friday, April 27, 2012

"It's Not Luck..."

I used to believe in luck. I even used it in a phrase, "good luck or better luck next time" out of necessity before. But that stopped when a greater or more meaningful word arose in my heart which is God's favor, God's grace!
May today you receive His blessings and be a blessing to someone! ~~ Shing

Sunday, April 1, 2012

"I Am A Part Of All That I Have Met..." ~Tennyson

Let me begin with another inspirational quote by Johann van Goethe which says, "Nothing is Worth more than this Day..."
It's Good Friday...I wish everyone to take a moment to praise God for the Life He created for us to Live because In Him We Truly Live!

I have lived half a century...five decades of which I call a journey of missed marks and a sky of wishful thinking. It always feels like I couldn't hit a target in everything that I do. Haven't I prayed enough? Or could it be that I have forgotten to be grateful and humble myself to All the Grace that I have received and continuing to receive these Blessings in small and big packages? 
The hovering has lessened; like a vapor is may be next. But Today I pray that I may learn to surrender it all---the edges of self-promotion, the pride, the Past. 

Sunday, March 18, 2012

I Thought I'd Share This...

Expressions of Praise by Dr. Charles Stanley
Glorifying the Lord is not limited to worshiping in church. In fact, praise ought to permeate the believer's life.
One obvious way that we praise the Lord is with our voice. We can either speak or sing our worship. Psalm writers put adoration into words and set their love to music. True worship also flows from the mouths of believers who are focused upon God's attributes. They desire to honor Him because of who He is, what He has done, and what He has promised for the future.
Genuine worship allows the Lord to fill our hearts and minds with His presence. But praising the Lord with wrong motives is an empty act. For example, if we're lifting our hands and singing loud only because doing so feels good, then what we're after is an emotional high. That kind of selfish "praise" falls far short of heaven.
Our God is praised when we serve Him. People are created for the purpose of bringing glory and honor to His name. Therefore, nothing should limit our willingness to work for the King, particularly when we have a chance to share Him with others. Christ is honored when His followers speak boldly about His grace and His work--believers' testimonies are an amazing form of praise that magnifies God's name.
Jesus Christ is worth more than any treasure this world offers. Loving Him and understanding what He's done for you should be all the motivation you need to praise Him with your life. Don't just sing; serve His kingdom and share the gospel. Help to make God's throne room ring with worship.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

"Just The Way You Are"

When I think about you, there are no uncharted premises nor bashful- candlelight desires.You added depth and richness to my soul. With you, my train of thoughts are never lost...I always catch myself falling incredibly attached to you emotionally.I know now that there's truth in what I've read which says, "Distance gives you fresh perspective and that "The best and most enduring things are the ones you can't touch."
I love you and I've missed you so much.I couldn't be more transparent than writing about it.
There's an evocative edge, a unique sense of freedom, a preserved splendor, and indescribable joy emanating
from within---just thinking about you!
"My emotions are gripped and quelled by my mind that wouldn't let me be at rest." May be until I finally see you and tell you ,"I love you just the way you are..." and much more.left unsaid.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

One More Step ...Away from "Ruminating"

Listening to K-Love Christian Music Radio has undoubtedly restructured my cognitive thinking. For 31 days, I evaded listening or even humming to secular music. It was a real challenge for me not to go to You Tube and devoid myself from listening to old song favorites. However; I'm elated of the outcome---one step away from self-defeating, destructive mental habits. Thank God for His mercy!!!
Today is a good day for returning the wrong merchandise that my son bought in an Office Depot Store. He just gave up to negotiate with them because once these inks are opened from their original packages, returning them is not an option. But a very welcoming nagging thought persisted in my brain.
While still in the car, I just prayed , "God, let your grace be in the overflow..." Then I know that my confirmation, God's hand is already @ work before even going in the store. One of the store supervisors told me without hesitation
to go get the right inks and she'll do the exchange for me. I felt like my feet were swifter even with my heels on and my heart to a flutter. And I was thankful also for her generous accommodation in lieu to the store's policy.
What did I actually learn from this situation?
I say "mindfulness which is focusing and responding on the present without judgment." It's more on engaging yourself to be still in His presence and know that He is God.

But anyway, Happy First Day of February, 2012!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

"Learn Something New Daily..."

The following golden nuggets are corporately forming a stairway, an infringement @ heart:
"Wisdom is the ability to discern difference...in people, opportunities and moments. Wisdom comes from The Word of God. Solomon said that Wisdom is the miracle key that unlocked life's house treasure. Wisdom requires effort, time and persistence, but is worth the cost." by Dr. Mike Murdock

"Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get Wisdom: and all thy getting, get understanding." (Proverbs 4:7)

Finally, I love this message:
"Love will sustain you & me on the most difficult journeys of our life...Jesus is the example. The most powerful force in the world is love (1Corinthians 13:13). You and I will be judged by the love expressed toward God...and to others.

Yours truly went to a 2-day Women's retreat this weekend. It was my very first "girlfriends' convention with my mom, and with my two other sisters. I believed in my heart that this was a divine opportunity for me. For one foremost reason, my registration fee (60$) was paid in God's grace. I experienced God's grace- first hand...It was more of a trust than faith, this time...
I tried so hard not to be judgmental and just enjoy most of the moments. I prayed solemnly for wisdom and the right understanding for every message delivered; for every song rendered and for my heart and my mind to be just thankful so my whole being could behold the presence of the Hand that led me there...
I prayed that in the circumference of everything around me, God's unfailing love will keep reminding me that I have been redeemed with such captivity--the Past!!!
But clearly, there is empowerment being with exuberant women!!!
God Be Praised!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

God...Be Praised!

My beloved son, Calvin & I @ Valentine's gathering this year, 2012!
I wished that my other beloved son, Joshua, could have had joined us, too!

Now that my heart is in the right place, every wound that never dried up be locked away for good and every burden that never ceases to be lifted up will soon find its way to faded memory, destined to be forgotten and extinguished.
After all that's been said and done, I am an empty vessel without God's anointing. Therefore; I should go back to trusting His will for my life and do better as a steward of His Word.
This week, I believe that I must meditate on Timothy 1:7 (KJV) that says: For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. I also believe that "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness" also found in Timothy 3:16 (KJV)
His Grace be with you all...

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Untitled Blog...

My thoughts are like a whirlwind...many times  perturbed with former thoughts that dominated me from  looking up! Really looking up with a heart of wisdom...I wish.
I can'n even begin my day without a sigh of guilt; how I"m still here doing and thinking the same thing 37 years ago.Thinking about you excessively! If that's what you call pathetic then may be that's what I am. I guessed, I have made up my mind that in this lifetime, it would always be you who I am powerless to let go. I can't say I did everything I could to free my heart from the past because that would be like" lying to my teeth."
Come to think of it that my educational credentials and of all the books I've read and all the songs I've listened to intently & all of the eloquent people I've watched on t.v. on or behind lecterns onstage didn't give me enough to ascend of any kind. They just enliven my vocabulary and more words to convey I just love you so much.
Well, this is it for now. I know I sound so ungrateful, insipid and perplexed but this is just one of my pensive thoughts...May be later, something gets me off bay @ this very crossroad...

Monday, January 16, 2012

My Prayer...Today

"Lord Jesus, help me especially Today to reflect on Your original intention for everything in my life. I have gotten off course  waywardly for more than 15 months...considerably for a long time. I have abandoned being in your presence by neglecting reading your Word, not praying on my knees; refraining myself from teaching children as a Sunday School Teacher  and straying deliberately from the things that are really true and lasting---Your Holy Living Word.
From this moment, I ask that you take me as I am...frail and brokenhearted. Let the hovering thoughts of the Past be replaced with meditation in your promises. I know that you are The only Way, The Truth and The Life...
And because Your love never fails---Let it anchors me deeply from hereon!

A Rare Afternoon Delight...

Finally, I decided to see Tom Cruise's movie with my 73-year old mom and my youngest sister. Compounded with excitement, I knew this is going to be a "more than good " movie. I'm actually a loyal fan of the actor's fine craft. Sure, it was; not only for me, my sister but especially to my mom's delight.

The cinema, the colossal screen, and the audio-visual effects that encompasses the movie are for me art forms. Thus, when I'm at the theater, munching and even drinking H20 are prohibited; only whispers of approval towards what is before me.

Usually, mom will at least ask me one time to take her for a bathroom break.It won't be an inconvenience if she did. Obviously, she isn't going to doze off either and render me with questions she couldn't seem to follow about the dialogue and plots of the movie--didn't happen. We all were like fastened to our seats with just interrupted sighs and motions of great anticipation...an action-packed movie that solidifies the theme "love and good prevails;" that is what I come away with it anyway---that perspective!~.

More than two hours of pure delight with my mom and my sister at the theater is more than enough to ease temporarily what's beneath those silent heartthrobs, tears that are held back  and thoughts of raging uncertainties that seem to lurk @ me any given time.

However, this three-day weekend has empowered me to a new dream...  one that I know doable, functional and real without encroachment in every way.., that is: back.to drawing near to God's epistles and begin to sow a seed for repentance and forgiveness and spiritual wisdom.